Sunday, September 28, 2008

Why do I do that?

I'm a knuckle cracker. I also believe in equal opportunity for my joints. If I crack one finger I have to crack them all. If I need to crack one twice I have to give it's mate at least a chance to crack again. If I crack one wrist I have to crack the other. I have a routine that gets every joint so nobody feels left out.
I am a knee bouncer. I don't bounce my knees all the time, but if they have to bounce, they have to bounce. One time I was in front of a congregation in a choir. I was bouncing those knees like there was no tomorrow. The woman next to me asked if I could stop because she was an epileptic and she thought I was going to give her a seizure. I had to stop. I did, but the effect was huge. I began to itch as if I had poison ivy. I spent the next hour and 10 min. itching and scratching. It was awful. I laugh when I think of it now, but then I thought I was going to die.
I step on the cracks but only with my right foot. It's a marching band habit, and I can't break it.
After pouring a bowl of cereal I have to make sure every morsel has been dunked before I can take a bite. I have to continue dunking the whole bowl before each bite. This drives my husband nuts. I also separate everything I eat. I eat the outside of the sandwich first. Then when I have just the middle left I eat the vegetables, then the bread, then the meat, then the cheese. Pizza is toppings, crust, cheese. Ho-Hos are outside coating, then scoop out the filling, eat the cake, and then eat the filling. I eat M&Ms, skittles, fruit snacks and cereals one color at a time. First yellow, then green, then orange, then brown, then red, then purple, then pink. Well with M&Ms greens are last but the rest is in their proper order.
I don't string my string cheese. I just eat it like I would eat a carrot.
Why do I do these things and what would happen if I stopped? I'm afraid to find out after what happened with the knees. The thing that bothers me about this, is that I can do all these things with exactness. I never let these habits down. But there are important things that really matter that I want to make into habits. I try and I try, but I still haven't mastered them. Why do I have needs of things that don't matter, that don't make a difference, and that are totally useless, and I can't manage to read to my child everyday for 15 min. That would be a great thing to have to do everyday or else itch like crazy. Why can't organizing my desk be like cracking my knuckles where I just have to do it, or I can't do or think about anything else? How do I make my goals into my needs, my have-tos? I'm serious. I want answers, tips, and suggestions.


okeydokeyifine said...

Sounds like you have exactness in some areas and would like to have it in all areas. Perhaps a control issue? Maybe a fettish? I know that as long as my silverware drawer is in order all is right with the world.

We cannot be perfect in all areas. We are human beings with very human traits. And although you are about as perfect as they come you are still human.

EmmaP said...

if i crack on knuckle, i crack them all. and if i'm "out" of knuckles to crack, I go after the kids! They know what i am up now, if i "need" to crack something, I try to give them hugs, so i can crack their back. they stay away now...too bad.

hmmm....making things a habit. i could give you a whole seminar about being committed and taking the necessary steps along the way and to find out to what we are truly committed. It's a great workshop series. I can say that it has helped me in some areas. I still need to apply it in others... maybe i'll email ya! But what it really comes down to is things we LIKE to do, and things that give us PEACE (like ticks) for whatever stragne reason. I am glad I am not the only one with crazy habits and obsessions. By the way - I can't sit still for more than about a minute at a time. I have tried. If i sit "still" i start to ITCH EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then the scratching starts! lol - we are more alike than i knew...

Puphigirl said...

When you find out the answer, let me know.

I am a habitual joint cracker. I also fidget with my fingernails and cuticles. I am a sometimes leg bouncer.

Ruthykins said...

so, mom's comment about her silverware draw made me cracka smile. derek apperently never realized that within the drawer separations that there were also subgroups. i have two sets of silver ware in the same drawer and my favorites lay "right" and my other ones lay backwards. i can always tell when he puts the silver ware away because my drawer is all "messed up"