Do you know somebody who behaves badly on a regular basis? I'm talking about adults who should know better. It could be anything from extreme gossiping, to being abrasively rude, to over indulgence with absolutely no self-control, or even saying whatever pops in their head without thought of consequence. I know a handful of people like this. Every time I witness them behaving badly I am literally shocked. I think to myself, how is it possible for an adult to handle themselves in such a manner? Did they not learn how to play nice with others as children? Is this just something that has developed over the years and has gotten way out of control?
I always think that I have to show them how crazy they are being. I almost feel like I have to cure them before they cause too much damage. Is this my responsibility though? These people are not my friends, they are not my family, they are just people I see on a regular basis. The ways that I usually think would "help" them are typically not very Christian. You know, like public ridicule or being a mirror to them and treating them the way they treat others. This is where I don't want to go. I don't want to be mean to them. Well, I kind of do honestly, but I know I'm not supposed to.
This is where I have a dilemma. Do I try to help them even if it means potentially hurting their feelings, or should I just let those who are close to them deal with it? I guess this falls in the' him without sin cast the first stone' category. I know I'm not perfect so who am I to try to fix somebody who has an obvious flaw where as most of mine or sort of hidden and private. I mean how would I feel if someone was trying to "fix" me? I really do feel bad for these people though because they are often at the center of uproar with their antics and people generally don't like them. Is it their fault that their weaknesses are so public? What do you think? Honestly what do you do when you deal with people like this?
Feet
12 years ago
6 comments:
I'm with you, I want to mirror them, or point it out publicly. I'm sure I have done this while I was riled up. I'm also sure there were others around thinking, "I can't believe she loses her temper like that. I should try to fix her."
lol that's so funny. I bet there are people who want to fix me too.
i was talking to nursemom about this kind of thing a little while ago. she was saying that she can't believe certain people do certain things. then she said she guesses people think the same thing about her. i just laughed. i always try to think about "what's their secret?" you know, like what is going on with them that they would be acting this way. basically, i just try to remember that everybody, including me, has a secret.
I am not a Rotarian, but I did once attend a Rotary Club meeting as a guest speaker. There I learned about something that I thought was pretty cool...
The Rotarian Coin. This is a coin that is given (or earned...I'm not sure) to their members. One side of the coin is divided into 4 sections, each section posing a question.
1) Is it Truth?
2) Is it Fair for all concerned?
3) Will it build Goodwill and Friendships?
4) Will it be Beneficial for all concerned?
I really liked this because I think it serves as a moral compass. Let's take a look at your example of "gossip". Well, what if it is TRUE??? That satisfies question #1... but it does not satisfy the other 3 questions in the affirmative. I think this is key.
If everyone could/would just live by the Golden Rule, or a moral compass, per say, we wouldnt have this need to "fix" each other... etc. But remember, "We are not human beings having spiritual experiences; but rather we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience" :)
Very well said, Emma.
For me, well, i don't know what to do with this kind of people. Normally, it pisses me off, especially those who enjoy "gossip" to the extent that they are 'not just talking about someone, but literally making up stories about someone'. Sometimes, talking about somebody is unavoidable. The question is, 'how do you talk about that person?'
When some of my friends are talking too much about a particular person, i correct them by saying, 'nope, that's not true' especially if i know what the truth is. If the truth is negative, i drop the subject coz it's better not to say anything than to talk about other people's flaws. When i overhear people especially my neighbors talk about someone and literally fabricate stories about them, i just avoid these people coz i don't know anything else to do other than that. I just make them feel that if it's gonna be me or anyone in my family who's going to be the next subject, they better make up good stories coz i'll definitely do something about it.
Gossiping about people that you have never met, or know nothing at all about is just plain wrong! No one has the right to judge people, and I agree with SpringBubble on this!
I know that I have had really nasty remarks written about me on blogs, but I just never gave up because these people didn't even know the first thing about me, and everything that was written was wrong or taken out of the wrong concept.
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