Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Just a little stressed

I have some things that I have wanted to blog about but I could not bring myself to sit down and write anything. I'm not even really sure why. The last few weeks have all sort of felt like a blur. I've done a lot of stuff. I made a few things for singing time in primary. I made a blanket for Taygan and one for myself and I have another one ready to be sewn. I also made a lot of leggings. I got Easter baskets and outfits for the kids. I found some great stuff at Goodwill, even a nice pair of pioneer shoes in my size. I've organized my kitchen. I've been keeping up on everyone else's blogs. I've been focusing more on homework for the boys. I've begun mousercising with the boys after school. I've been trying new recipes. I've been losing weight. I've been thinking about getting a haircut. I have been organizing a group for Time Out For Women. I've been planning a vacation for this summer. I've been helping Koen plan his baptism. I've been implementing a new reward system. I've been potty-training Brandis. I've been cooking and baking for potlucks. I've had sick kids. I think I had a bit of a meltdown a two Saturdays ago. I have basically been so busy that I don't even have time to think about anything. So instead of writing blogs about each of these things as they happened which I couldn't seem to do, I'll just clump them all together into one post. Okay, that actually helped. After I wrote all that down I had a moment of clarity. I've actually had a couple of things on my mind. Not huge worries but worries just the same. I think I've been trying to fill my time up with other things so I wouldn't have to face some things. That makes sense. See these blogging things are great. Alright, I'm done now.


Puphigirl said...

So what you are saying is that you need to get some things off your chest and vent a little.

RhondaLue said...

you. are. one. busy. lady!

okeydokeyifine said...

Whew! I am tired from reading it all. I could not keep up with you, that is for sure.

Ruthykins said...

well, now i feel like loser. i feel like i haven't been doing anything.

EmmaP said...

Ruth... you've been busy planning Andrew's party...and playing scattergories, and listening to recitations of The Neverending Story.

Sarah, I think this is why I have blogged sometimes too. Also, I find that I tend to take on MORE projects when I need a "distraction". I think keeping busy helped me to feel fulfilled so I do not have to feel down about the thing(s) I do not want to face or admit.

During my divorce, I was in the YW pres. Which was actually a great "distraction". Then after the 1st breakup w Big-D, I wrote a "novella" in 10 days. I don't even know how I did it. But the dialogue was in my head every day, all the time. After the 2nd breakup w/ Big-D, I was already in school and working and raising 3 kids, but I volunteered to do the Stake Play. People thought I was nuts. And I probably was. Except, I didn't really feel overwhelmed. It just sort of kept me going and didn't allow me time to think about the things I didn't want to think about anyway. I don't know if that makes any sense. But I can't "sit still" if there are things going on I do not want to face. I have learned this about myself... If I "sit still" during these times, I feel depression tugging at me, until I am eventually swallowed up whole in it. Then, I end up sleeping my days away, and not raising my kids the way I know they should be. So, I am sure some expert would think my "diversion tactics" unhealthy, or say that I am "running away" from certain things. However, like you pointed out, I do it until I reach that moment of clarity. I say it is a "coping mechanism". I think this is why I have started doing the Not Me Monday posts too. It just sort of helps me "empty" my brain's "recycle bin", and vent a little if I need to.

Ok, now I am rambling... but that helped me :)

Take care! Let me know if you ever wanna chat :)

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