Today I had somebody ask me what my plan was for when the baby comes. I realized I hadn't even thought about it. Now this is very important. I mean I have four kids who need a place to stay while I'm in the hospital, and I need to be able to drop them off at a moments notice. This reminded me of when Dougan was in the hospital and the overwhelming feeling of, 'what are we gonna do?'. I really don't know. Before I had the Barclays and then I had Rachel, now I don't have a clue. So while I was beginning to panic after being asked this, they asked who was coming the week or two after the baby was born. They were like, "you know, to cook and care for the others". I then remembered that I did have Christy Barclay help out after Dougan was born and Rachel helped out after Brandis, plus Rachel was always just a phone call away and could be there in minutes. Again, this was something I hadn't thought about. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I don't know."
So this morning this is what I've been thinking about. I know my friends will bring me meals for the first few days after being home, because that's what we usually do, but could I actually ask them to do more than that? Could I ask my friends to help cook and help me keep up with the house and laundry and grocery shopping? I mean Tony can do a little of that, but he works 14 hours a day and sleeps 8 and has only a couple of hours to do anything.
I know it's part of my personality to underestimate people and I usually expect them to say no. But maybe my friends would be willing to help. Maybe they would want to help. I just need to talk myself into asking somebody and I need to do it quick so I can make a plan. What did you guys do when you brought home new ones? What is too much to ask friends with their own families to do?
Feet
11 years ago
6 comments:
i just had meals brought for a while. nobody came and cleaned, but i could've gotten someone from the ward if i'd wanted. talk to you compassionate service leader, or the relief society pres. also, i bet the young women might make you a service project. just some thoughts. when family is far away, turn to the ward family.
I had meals brought in for about 3 day.
You can have the kids pick up stuff while you sit with the baby and supervise. You know, like Mom used to do.
But as far as laundry and dishes, are you going to be that incompacitated from having the baby that you can't do it while she naps?
I guess that is kind of how I was thinking it would have to be. My only concern is if things start slacking to where I get overwhelmed. Then it would be great to call someone for just a little bit of help that day.
It is hard when you feel "alone".
Let the RS help you, ask a young woman for some service project time. She can help with the feeding of the children and laundry, vacuuming, etc.
Talk to your friends about the moment notice thing. We will be thinking of you. Lots of love, MOM
honestly - it all depends on how "smoothly" labor & deliver goes, and then how fussy the baby is. Keenan was a good baby. However, it was an adjusment - more like shock - to my body. even though he was a good sleeper, i was exhausted for days. When he napped I remember thinking, "Is this when I get to nap? Or is this when I am supposed to clean?"
Kadin was a cry-baby and woke up every two hours throughout the night. I don't think I have slept since the day he was born. I remember trying to load the dishwasher and vaccum while he was strapped to me with a "snuggli". It wasn't ideal. I was new to my neighborhood and 1000 of miles from family. so - i just did it. but i admit, the other parental unit bringing home dinner helped.
with kienna, the labor was easy on me - hard on her. but i did have an infection just before labor. so i had to take it easy. again - it was the whole sleep thing. and by then, i had 2 toddlers who just didnt understand that the house didnt clean itself. i rememember after keenan went off to kindergarten i put on teletubbies for kadin and i went to nap with the baby. soon, i realized it was too quiet. I walked into the kitchen to find that kadin had pulled a chair to the counter, dumped the sweetened koolaid every where and had the cough syrup out. thank goodness for child-proof caps. my house was a mess. i felt overwhelmed. i was like, "did i sign up for this?" i never asked for help, because it never occurred to me to do so - mom never did. but now, looking back, i realize that pregnancy, labor, delivery, recovery affects us all differently. we each have different bodies and different babies. so - you may need more or less help than someone else.
good luck! if i lived cloe to you, i would be there in a flash!
sarah are you kidding me!!!
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