I was talking to a friend today who is taking a class where they have to do cognitive thinking as an assignment. She was working it out on me with thoughts that I have. Basically she was telling me that I do way to much self down talking and that I need to stop that way of thinking. I agreed with everything that she said. As we went through some of the things that I might get down on myself about she showed me how to break it down. We went through what my first thought would be and then my next and how I could control what I think to have a different reaction.
Like I said, I know that this is some smart stuff to do. It is supposed to get you to think positively about yourself and to not rip yourself apart all the time. I don't think I am too self loathing, but then I asked what she learned about negative feelings not being ALL bad. I mean, for the most part I think I'm pretty happy with myself. Then something will happen and I'll take an outside look at myself and realize that I'm not doing everything I need to be doing. That is when I will feel like a bit of a failure and a loser. I said I actually like those times because that's when I see that I have so much more to improve on. I almost need those humbling times to become better. Otherwise I would just walk around thinking I'm all that.
It didn't turn into a debate or anything but she did understand what I meant. She agreed that it can be a good thing as long as you don't wallow in self pity because you're not pretty enough or strong enough, or whatever enough. That's true. I think that from time to time I need to evaluate who I am and what I'm doing. If I don't like it, then I need to make a change. I need to make sure that I don't label myself as lazy or ugly or something like that because that would just bring me down. So I'm glad we had that little conversation this morning. I realize that I don't always criticize myself but when I do I need to make sure I make it a positive thing and not something that could spiral into a self loathing depression.
I resolve that I will take the time to consider my feelings and analyze them to make sure I am helping myself. Who knows, maybe this will be the trick to help me be the person that I want to be and perhaps I can finally overcome some of those weaknesses that I have which I feel are holding me back.
Feet
12 years ago
5 comments:
that's sounds like a good idea. that's something i think we could all use.
I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And gosh darn it, people like me!
that's right, puphigirl. They say positive self talk really works. I don't think I'll go as far as putting affirmations up in my mirror though.
Well, I think that you are doing such a great job the way that you are! We all have those moments of self-doubt, but we all get through them. It's good to take time out and re-value things from time to time though, but I think that you are great just the way that you are!
Big hugs!
i am in a communications class... and discussing this too! labeling, self-talk... yeah, it's all in there. i find that at times i feel really outgoing and smart and confident. then at other times i feel weak and insecure. sometimes it depends on who i am with or who is around me; a frame of reference. CS Lewis said, "What you see and what you hear depends a good deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are."
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