My boys really wish they were spoiled but they're not. On Sat. I went to a woman's dinner and meeting. At the table there were a bunch of mom's. One of them was talking about how much her husband spoils their son and it will probably be worse when the baby girl learns to ask for things too. I was surprised to hear how much of a sucker this dad is. The mom said it was so bad once that he had to say no and tears welled up in his eyes. (Not the boy's eyes, the dad's eyes.) That was the only time he ever said no.
I couldn't even imagine getting my boys everything they asked for. They ask for things all the time but we're all so used to the answer being no that there usually isn't any crying or fits. There are things that they ask for that I really do wish I could get them but sometimes I just can't, things like a trip to Disney World, or a horse lol. There are probably things that they want that they just know they will never get so they don't even bother asking. But I tell you it is the best when they ask for something and you can tell they're ready for a no and I get to say yes. Oh they get so excited. The funny thing is it's usually something small like bananas at the grocery store. Or like this past Saturday when we got to go to a free festival. They thought it was cool that they all got their own little bag of cotton candy and chips and a snow cone. It was fun saying yes that day. Can we stand in line for some popcorn? YES!! ALRIGHT!!! Another great time was last Christmas. My sister sent us a sundae gift basket. It had marshmallows, sprinkles, Magic Shell, syrups, nuts, cherries, etc. The boys loved that they each got to make their own monster sundaes like three night in a row.
So what's my point. I don't get to spoil rotten, but I do get to indulge them sometimes. As a parent I want to spoil them a little. It's like I wish I could spoil them without having them turn out to be spoiled brats. Is that even possible? The way it is now is working for us and I hope that I have happy kids. I also hope that someday I could afford to give them everything they want but I won't. That would be terrific.
Feet
11 years ago
6 comments:
Liam is also like that sometimes. What i just do is that, even if i know that he doesn't understand what i tell him at this age, i'm still trying to talk to him and make him remember that he can't get all the things he want.
I really don't like it when Liam looks at kids who eat candies and ice cream. Sometimes he says 'hingi', which means 'can i have some?' and i really don't like that. It's okay if those kids are his cousins, but he does that even to strangers. So what i just do is to turn him away and tell him that if he wants food he should ask me.
So he doesn't do that anymore. I'm also afraid he would turn into a spoiled brat. I just hope not. I still don't know how to deal with that.
My kids are used to hearing no. But they also hear yes often enough. Maybe they just know what to ask for. I think the only one at risk of being spoiled is Chloe, but that might be because she's the only girl.
puphi-I bet even her brothers spoil her. In our family everyone tends to spoil Brandis a bit.
springbubble- I think that is so funny that Liam asks strangers for some. I bet he's so cute they actually want to share with him.
i look for ways to say "yes"... but not necessarily to "things". for example, if my kids ask, "Can we go to Disneyland?" I say, "Yes! As soon as we can fgure out how and where to get a couple thousand dollars." then I will always ask them, "Any ideas?" They usually don't ask for things, because they know we don't have money. This past summer kienna said, "I wish I could get some new clothes for school.. Mom, is there any way I could get new clothes for school?" I said, (somewhat sarcastcally) "Sure! As soon as we can get a little extra cash!" and then I put it back on her with "Any ideas?" And she actually answered with, "We could have a yard sale!" which we did. It was a lesson to me that it's ok for kids to know that we can't afford EVERYTHING, and also, if there is something they really want, they can use out-of-the-box thinking... i would like some sprinkles now please :)
Sometime it's good to remember that the best things in life are free, and that was a great idea of having a garage sale! Sometimes you have to get rid of some things in order to get what you want. A very good lesson could be learned here!
Have a good Tuesday!
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